Thoughts...

Wow.  I can't believe we are already to March.  I want to know where the time has gone!  I haven't blogged in awhile, so I felt like I needed to.  I feel like I have so much to write, but how do I condense all my thoughts?  I'll do my best, but it might sound like rambling. :)

The last month has been great.  I won't lie.  It was fabulous.  Even with its challenges, it was great.  I am excited for the summer.  Awesome things are happening.  I went on some dates.  A good friend of mine came home.  I've made some new friends.  I'm learning to sing in Italian.  I got to teach Relief Society.  I have had new opportunities at work.  I made my first red velvet cake.  I've spent some quality time with my grandma.  I've been choreographing for the dance concert.  I've been shopping.  Learned how to use a crock pot.  Exciting things are happening.

Something that has been on my mind is hope.  We have been talking a lot about it at church recently.  It was just what I needed to hear.  I'll be honest.  Sometimes I feel hopeless.  These days, I feel that more often than not.  I think we all do at some point in our lives.  I think it is in that moment that we need to keep enduring the most.  I have this tendency to want to give up, throw in the towel and just quit.  Even though I have all these great things happening in my life, I still feel like there is something missing.  Those that know me well probably know what I'm talking about.  The great thing is, hope is there.  As much as I need to have faith, I need to have hope also.  There is something so powerful about hope.  I sure do hope for a lot of things.  Though, I try not to get my "hopes" up.  I am so grateful for the power of hope.  It is truly what gets me through each day.  I don't want to feel like something is missing.  I love my life just the way it is.  But I do hope for a wonderful future filled with optimism.  

One more thing:

I've had some ups and downs with my mom.  Some people out there might know.  It has been hard.  Actually it has been one of the toughest things I've been through.  I've spent countless nights in tears.  I feel like I'll never be good enough for her.  I try so hard.  I do my very best.  I know it must be hard for her too.  But, she is still my mother.  No matter what she does, I still love her.  Mom, if you are out there...I miss you.  I love you very much.  I miss our family.  I hope that one day soon we can all be together.  

Sorry if this is too much or too personal.  Not like I have that many readers out there....I always try to stay on positive subjects.  Because, life is too short to stay down in the dumps.  No need to worry though, because I am fine :).  I always am and I always will be.  My grandma always tells me if I'm feeling blue to go out and do something nice for someone else.  She is right.  We all have our own woes.  But helping someone else will truly put our woes into perspective. 

My grandma rocks.  I love her.

Be hopeful.  Life is too short to not look on the bright side :)

xoxo

Ashley